6 weeks

Apparently baby is the size of a blueberry today.  No major changes in the last week, but some legitimate pregnancy symptoms are slowly but surely creeping up on me.  I've started to get a little heartburn after eating and a tad nauseous (aka morning sickness) on a really empty stomach, at bedtime and when waking up.  So, I have been having a small bedtime snack and eating something right when I wake up to help with that.  I'm glad it's the weekend because I should be able to take a nap for the next three days-so much excitement ;)

Speaking of excitement, I'm still very excited about this and, honestly, feeling really good about everything.  However, I am starting to get a little more anxious for our first ultrasound since we're approaching the same time frame as our miscarriage.  Actually, our first appointment is one year exactly after our first appointment last time.  I went in at just shy of 8 weeks last time and heart the heartbeats (2) but then 8 days later went back and there were no heartbeats.  Our ultrasound this time will be at just shy of 9 weeks and I'm hoping she'll do another one a week or two after that to help reassure me the same thing won't happen again.

I imagine I'll say something to this effect with each post until we can announce everything, but to those of you I've avoided/spoken to recently, I'm so sorry I/we haven't told you.  Trust me, it's killing me, but at least until the first ultra sound I just want to keep it a secret.  We both do.  It's hard to explain unless you've been there, but even our very closest friends and family don't know.  I had a discussion with a friend about pregnancy after miscarriage and it's not even that we'd keep it a secret if we miscarried again, but we want to be able to tell people when we're ready to tell them.  We don't want to be obligated to keep telling everyone to make sure everyone gets the message.  We don't want to miss telling someone and, later, have them ask about the pregnancy (it happened last time very shortly after the fact and again near the due date).  And we don't want to have to comfort others about the news when we should be comforting each other.  I know, I hope it doesn't happen and like I said I truly am feeling really good about it, but we just want to be cautious.  So, there's my big pre-apology.  Sorry we lied, but we know you can forgive us :)

Anyway, that's about all for now!  Oh, and the picture, even though there won't be anything to see for a while...besides some bloating/water retention.