Friday, December 28, 2012

36 weeks

Only four weeks until our due date!  My whole plan all along was to be vague about the due date because I didn't want people bugging me when the date came around if baby still wasn't here, but our date is about as "late January" as it gets, so I gave up.  I'm hoping she comes right on time or a little early.  And if I could pick, I'd say not while Trevor is in class in Mankato.  Or at drill.  A Friday would be good.  In the evening.  Maybe if I schedule it on my Google calendar she'll understand.  Of course, I realize we don't get to pick.  And truly, I don't think we'll care.  Except for the weather since we have an hour drive to the hospital (thanks, insurance, for making us doctor an hour away), so a non-blizzard would be nice. 

I used our registry completion coupon at Target yesterday.  I got the rest of the things we figure we'll really need (well, we honestly don't need much at all, but we'll call them pretty basic convenience items with a few necessities) so we're all set!  Thankfully, we actually had enough in gift cards to cover it all.  I could say this a hundred times and it wouldn't be enough.  We are SO blessed to have such wonderful friends and family who have offered support, guidance, and many thoughtful gifts and hand-me-downs.  We're so appreciative of all of it!  The best part is, our baby isn't even here yet, so we know she'll be very loved upon arrival.  We'll be installing the car seat base this weekend and I'll probably start packing my hospital bag, too.  Then I think we'll be 100% as ready as future parents can be. Well, I suppose 95% since our hospital tour isn't until Monday.

I'm still feeling really good and sleeping fairly well.  My lips are still unbelievably chapped, but the lanolin (Lansinoh HPA lanolin meant for breastfeeding nipples, to be exact) has been working like a charm as long as I keep using it.  I toss and turn quite a bit and wake up to go to the bathroom once, sometimes twice, but better than I thought I'd be doing at this stage.  Every so often I wake up wide awake in the middle of the night.  Sunday night I was wide awake from 1am-4am, but luckily it didn't ruin my day at all.  I frequently get asked if I'm waking up because I'm worried or anxious about the baby.  Nope.  I literally just wake up wide awake, nothing on my mind, as if it were 9am.

Speaking of things I frequently hear...  Let me answer/respond to some common questions/statements.  I'm partially being funny about it and partially answering these questions because it seems everyone I see asks :)

How are you feeling? Really good! No majorly annoying symptoms, not terribly uncomfortable, starting to get more tired but all things considered, really good.
You're so tiny! If that's meant to be a compliment, I appreciate it, but my weight gain and belly measurements are exactly how they're supposed to be.  My doctor even pointed out if you start out with a small frame, that's not really going to change and you'll look small in comparison.  PS-I've always been a healthy eater and I walk Rowdy regularly, my spot-on weight gain isn't an accident.
Wow! You really look pregnant today/in that shirt. Well, that's because I am.  Still.
Only a few weeks left, huh? That went fast! We've wanted this for almost two years and we're still waiting.  Just like a deployment, it seems to go quickly for those who aren't directly experiencing it.  Baby isn't here yet; once she is I'm sure we'll eventually say it went fast, but not yet.

OK, enough of that fun :)  I know everyone means well and is just excited and I really do appreciate it.  We are very excited, too!  In fact, I got a little mushy thinking about the past year (or two) over Christmas.  On our regular blog, I wrote about how Trevor and I have never exchanged Christmas gifts, we just make sure to enjoy the time together.  That said, he still gave me the best gift of all this year just by being home.  I got to thinking about where we were in life last Christmas: six months post-miscarriage, I had just sent him back to Kuwait after having him home for two weeks, and in those two weeks we had tried with no luck to get pregnant again.  Let me preface what I'm about to say with this: I'm a big believer in everything happening for a reason, but I will never ever say that our, or anyone's, miscarriage happened for a reason (and I would advise against anyone else saying that to someone in that situation-it's not helpful).  Some things in life just don't have explanations and there is no bigger picture.  It just doesn't make sense other than some fluke thing led to something being so seriously wrong with our baby/babies the pregnancy couldn't continue-completely medical and random.  It was terribly sad, always will be, but it does get easier (I've repeated that to myself a  million times and it really has helped-you know who you are who told me that) and I knew our time would come.  That said, the second best gift I got this year was patience.  I am in no way thankful our first pregnancy ended the way it did.  I am, however, very thankful I learned to be patient and appreciate when life happens on its own time sometimes.  I would have loved those babies to pieces, but if that pregnancy had continued we surely wouldn't be having this baby right now and that makes her pretty special, too.  Patience this year was a solid combination of waiting for Trevor to come home and waiting to try for a baby again...and waiting for this baby to arrive!  (Luckily that patience lesson didn't include waiting for a positive pregnancy test since this baby came as soon as humanly possible.)  Trevor has been to every single doctor's appointment and ultrasound with me this time.  He was with me when I felt kicks for the first time and felt them for himself five days later.  It's been amazing having him here to help clean/cook when I was feeling awful, shovel, play with Rowdy, put together the crib/dresser, etc.  And, of course, it's a huge relief knowing he'll for sure be around for labor/delivery/the weeks and months to follow.  Every so often I get pretty worked up about how much our finances have changed/will change (income is obviously a bit different now than it was while he was deployed, we just got his last unemployment check and my paychecks aren't big at all, especially not after daycare costs), but Trevor just says it'll work out, we'll always put our family first and be able to provide for our children, he's not scared, etc.  I know that's all true, I'm just really struggling to fully wrap my head around it all.  What would I do without him?  In addition to all of that, I have always been an organized planner, and still am for the most part, but I have learned to be much more flexible and much less particular.  I may not exactly be thankful for everything that's happened in life, but I'm truly thankful for the way everything has worked out and the lessons I've learned.

I'm going to do my best to hold on to my patience wisdom throughout the next year-I imagine I'll need it :)



  1. I laughed and cried reading your post if that makes you feel any better;) sending welcoming vibes for a healthy baby girl SOON!!

    1. :) I got a bit teary eyed writing it. But my favorite part about reading other people's blogs is when they just throw it all out there! Thanks for the good vibes ;)

  2. The last few weeks of pregnancy with a first baby are crazy - it feels like time has stopped, like reality is suspended indefinitely and you start to wonder if you're ever actually going to become a parent. Enjoy the time though, and do the stuff you won't be able to do as easily in a month (going out to dinner, sleeping in, grocery shopping in bulk, etc)

    1. I feel like we'll just be talking about pregnancy and having a baby for all eternity. From the start of this whole journey til now it's been almost 2 years counting our miscarriage and the deployment in between! Hard to believe we'll actually have a little one in just a few weeks!

  3. Also, hearing "you're so tiny!" after gaining the appropriate amount of weight makes you wonder how much everyone else gains, right? I had women telling me, at 36-40w and up 26lbs, that my due date must be wrong or that there must be something wrong with the baby because I was too small. It got old fast. And levi was perfect...small but perfect.

    1. I'd be okay with a small baby :) As far as we can tell she's healthy and not "too small" so it sounds just fine to me! I always want to get on my soap box-people tell me I'm so lucky I'm so tiny-no, not really, I'm a healthy person and put a lot of effort into keeping it that way during the pregnancy.


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